Thursday, July 12, 2007

I wish that all the ladies...

I learnt a really funny army-style camp song a few days ago. It basically involves a leader saying each line and the crowd repeating. Here it is:

I wish that all the ladies
Were sailors in a race
And I was the head wind
I'd blow in their face

I wish that all the ladies
Were lying naked on my bed
And I was (name)
I'd fuck my mate instead

I wish that all the ladies
Were potholes in the road
And I was the dump truck
I'd fill 'em with my load

I wish that all the ladies
Were bells in a tower
And I was Quasimodo
I'd bang 'em every hour

I wish that all the ladies
Were pedals on a rose
And I was the gardener
I'd wet 'em with my hose

I wish that all the ladies
Were sheep in the grass
And I was a Kiwi
I'd fuck 'em in the arse

I wish that all the ladies
Were sitting naked on my lap
And I was (name)
I wouldn't get erect

58 comments:

  1. i wish that all the ladies
    were rabbits in the grass
    and i was a shotgun
    i'd blast them in the arse


    i wish that all the ladies
    were statues of venus
    cause then they'd have no arms
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    i wish that all the ladies
    were buns on a shelf
    and i was a baker
    i'd cream em all myself



    i wish that all the ladies
    were bricks in a pile
    and i was a mason
    i'd lay them in style



    i wish that all the ladies
    were waves in the ocean
    and i was a surfer
    i'd ride em with a motion

    ReplyDelete
  2. i wish that all the women were telephone poles and i was a squirrel and i'd stuff all there holes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 27, 2008

    i wish that all the ladies
    were nails on a board
    and I was a carpenter
    I nail em all myself

    ReplyDelete
  4. i wish that all the ladies,
    were brown paper bags,
    and i was a butcher,
    i'ld fill 'em with me snag!
    a-roo-ba-ba-do-ba
    a-roo-ba-ba-do-ba
    a-roo-ba-ba-dayyyy
    a-roo-ba-ba-dayyyy!

    HAHA yeowww!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wish that all the ladies
    were holes in the pool
    And I was the plumber
    i'd fix them with me tool

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish all the ladies
    were like rivers in china
    and I was a goldfish
    I'd swim up their vagina

    I wish all the ladies
    Were trees in the forest
    I was a logger
    I'd split their clitoris

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish that all the ladies,
    Were bullets in a gun,
    and If I was a gunslinger,
    I'd bang em' one by one!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 21, 2009

    I wish that all the ladies..
    Were Bacon on a stack,
    And i was a Butcher,
    I'd Bang 'em in the Crack

    I Wish that all the Ladies,
    were Dolls in the store,
    and i was a clerksman,
    I'd smash the dirty whore!!

    I wish that all the ladies,
    Were lyrics in music
    and i was a singer,
    theyd be shoved on my dick!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. A roo bop a roo bop!
    A roo bop a roo bop!

    I wish all the ladies
    were flowers in the garden
    and i was a bumble bee
    stinging em with me hard one

    A roo bop a roo bop!
    A roo bop a roo bop!

    I wish all the ladies
    Were potholes in the road
    and i was a council worker
    fillin' her with me load

    a roo bop a roo bop!
    A roo bop a roo bop!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I wish that all the ladies
    Were books on a shelf
    And I was a scholar
    I'd finger 'em all myself

    I wish that all the ladies
    Were waves in the ocean
    And I was the sailor
    I'd ride 'em with the motion

    I wish that all the ladies
    Were birds in the sky
    And I was a hunter
    I'd shoot 'em in the eue

    ReplyDelete
  11. i wish that all the ladies would get there tits out and if they did thered be no doubt that id be on a boner and probably hit a homer!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wish that all the ladies
    Were kittens in a tree
    and I was a fireman
    I'd set that pussy free

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wish that all the ladies
    would line up in a mile
    and i would get behind them
    and do 'em shish kabob style

    ReplyDelete
  14. i wish all the ladies
    were trying to smoke a bong
    and i slipped 'em rufees
    i'd replace it with my schlong

    i wish all the ladies
    were buds in a jay
    and i was a stoner
    i'd smoke 'em everyday

    ReplyDelete
  15. i wish that all the ladies
    were pregnant in bed
    so that we could fuck em
    and the fetus could give us head

    ReplyDelete
  16. I wish all you fuckers,
    Would shut you little mouth.
    I can't get away from this,
    Not North, not East, not South!

    ReplyDelete
  17. i wish all the ladies
    were the great wall of china
    and i was a ninja
    climbin there vagina

    ru bop a ru bop

    ReplyDelete
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  20. AnonymousMay 31, 2010

    I wish all the ladys
    were crabs in the sea
    and id have the honnor
    to pick em of of me

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJuly 24, 2010

    I wish that all the ladies,
    were pregnant in my bed,
    And when I fucked them,
    The fetus gave me head

    ReplyDelete
  22. i wish all the ladies
    were jockeys in a race
    and i was a saddle
    they'd be sit'n on my face

    ReplyDelete
  23. I wish that all the ladies
    were sheep in a pen
    coz if i were a kiwi
    i'd fuck them all again

    i wish that all the ladies
    were candies in a store
    coz if i was a little boy
    i'd have to lick them all

    i wish that all the ladies
    were all (name)'s mother
    coz then i could laugh
    as i raised his little brother

    i wish that all the ladies
    would bring their own lube
    i wouldn't have to buy it
    or squeeze it from their boob

    i wish that all the ladies
    were lesbian and queer
    coz if i had a dildo
    i'd stick it in their rear

    i wish that all the ladies
    were a vertical race
    i'd start at their feet
    and finish on their face

    i wish that all the ladies
    were (name)'s sister
    coz if i were her boyfriend
    i'd spread her legs and fist her

    i wish that all the ladies
    would take it in the ass
    coz if they did enjoy it
    i wouldn't have to ask

    i wish that all the ladies
    were like tables in bed
    i'd make them suck my dick
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    i wish that all the ladies
    were nails in the wall
    coz if i were a hammer
    i'd have to bang them all

    i wish that all the ladies
    were buns on a shelf
    coz if i was a baker
    i'd cream them all myself

    i wish that all the ladies
    would quit their bitchin
    and suck my dick
    then get back in the kitchen

    ReplyDelete
  24. I wish that all the ladies
    were hams in the oven
    and I was a baster
    I'd glaze them with my lovin

    I wish that all the ladies
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    I wish that all the ladies
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    I wish that all the ladies
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    I wish that all the ladies
    were pretty little flowers
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    I wish that all the ladies
    were bells on a tower
    and I was the Hunchback
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    ReplyDelete
  25. i wish that all the ladies
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    ReplyDelete
  26. I wish that all the ladies
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    if I'm alone and horny
    I'd jerk it to them all

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousMay 20, 2011

    I wish that all the ladies
    Were actors on a stage
    And I was the director
    I'd work them till they came.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I wish all the ladies
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    ReplyDelete
  29. I wish all the ladies
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  30. I wish that all the ladies
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  53. i wish that all the ladies
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  54. I wish all the ladies
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  58. AnonymousJune 28, 2022

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