Thursday, July 12, 2007

I wish that all the ladies...

I learnt a really funny army-style camp song a few days ago. It basically involves a leader saying each line and the crowd repeating. Here it is:

I wish that all the ladies
Were sailors in a race
And I was the head wind
I'd blow in their face

I wish that all the ladies
Were lying naked on my bed
And I was (name)
I'd fuck my mate instead

I wish that all the ladies
Were potholes in the road
And I was the dump truck
I'd fill 'em with my load

I wish that all the ladies
Were bells in a tower
And I was Quasimodo
I'd bang 'em every hour

I wish that all the ladies
Were pedals on a rose
And I was the gardener
I'd wet 'em with my hose

I wish that all the ladies
Were sheep in the grass
And I was a Kiwi
I'd fuck 'em in the arse

I wish that all the ladies
Were sitting naked on my lap
And I was (name)
I wouldn't get erect

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

i wish that all the ladies
were rabbits in the grass
and i was a shotgun
i'd blast them in the arse


i wish that all the ladies
were statues of venus
cause then they'd have no arms
to push away my penis



i wish that all the ladies
were buns on a shelf
and i was a baker
i'd cream em all myself



i wish that all the ladies
were bricks in a pile
and i was a mason
i'd lay them in style



i wish that all the ladies
were waves in the ocean
and i was a surfer
i'd ride em with a motion

CA culture said...

i wish that all the women were telephone poles and i was a squirrel and i'd stuff all there holes.

Anonymous said...

i wish that all the ladies
were nails on a board
and I was a carpenter
I nail em all myself

DEN said...

i wish that all the ladies,
were brown paper bags,
and i was a butcher,
i'ld fill 'em with me snag!
a-roo-ba-ba-do-ba
a-roo-ba-ba-do-ba
a-roo-ba-ba-dayyyy
a-roo-ba-ba-dayyyy!

HAHA yeowww!

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
were holes in the pool
And I was the plumber
i'd fix them with me tool

Anonymous said...

I wish all the ladies
were like rivers in china
and I was a goldfish
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I wish all the ladies
Were trees in the forest
I was a logger
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Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies,
Were bullets in a gun,
and If I was a gunslinger,
I'd bang em' one by one!

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies..
Were Bacon on a stack,
And i was a Butcher,
I'd Bang 'em in the Crack

I Wish that all the Ladies,
were Dolls in the store,
and i was a clerksman,
I'd smash the dirty whore!!

I wish that all the ladies,
Were lyrics in music
and i was a singer,
theyd be shoved on my dick!!

Anonymous said...

A roo bop a roo bop!
A roo bop a roo bop!

I wish all the ladies
were flowers in the garden
and i was a bumble bee
stinging em with me hard one

A roo bop a roo bop!
A roo bop a roo bop!

I wish all the ladies
Were potholes in the road
and i was a council worker
fillin' her with me load

a roo bop a roo bop!
A roo bop a roo bop!

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
Were books on a shelf
And I was a scholar
I'd finger 'em all myself

I wish that all the ladies
Were waves in the ocean
And I was the sailor
I'd ride 'em with the motion

I wish that all the ladies
Were birds in the sky
And I was a hunter
I'd shoot 'em in the eue

Anonymous said...

i wish that all the ladies would get there tits out and if they did thered be no doubt that id be on a boner and probably hit a homer!

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
Were kittens in a tree
and I was a fireman
I'd set that pussy free

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
would line up in a mile
and i would get behind them
and do 'em shish kabob style

Anonymous said...

i wish all the ladies
were trying to smoke a bong
and i slipped 'em rufees
i'd replace it with my schlong

i wish all the ladies
were buds in a jay
and i was a stoner
i'd smoke 'em everyday

Anonymous said...

i wish that all the ladies
were pregnant in bed
so that we could fuck em
and the fetus could give us head

Anonymous said...

I wish all you fuckers,
Would shut you little mouth.
I can't get away from this,
Not North, not East, not South!

Anonymous said...

i wish all the ladies
were the great wall of china
and i was a ninja
climbin there vagina

ru bop a ru bop

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Anonymous said...

I wish all the ladys
were crabs in the sea
and id have the honnor
to pick em of of me

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies,
were pregnant in my bed,
And when I fucked them,
The fetus gave me head

Anonymous said...

i wish all the ladies
were jockeys in a race
and i was a saddle
they'd be sit'n on my face

Josh said...

I wish that all the ladies
were sheep in a pen
coz if i were a kiwi
i'd fuck them all again

i wish that all the ladies
were candies in a store
coz if i was a little boy
i'd have to lick them all

i wish that all the ladies
were all (name)'s mother
coz then i could laugh
as i raised his little brother

i wish that all the ladies
would bring their own lube
i wouldn't have to buy it
or squeeze it from their boob

i wish that all the ladies
were lesbian and queer
coz if i had a dildo
i'd stick it in their rear

i wish that all the ladies
were a vertical race
i'd start at their feet
and finish on their face

i wish that all the ladies
were (name)'s sister
coz if i were her boyfriend
i'd spread her legs and fist her

i wish that all the ladies
would take it in the ass
coz if they did enjoy it
i wouldn't have to ask

i wish that all the ladies
were like tables in bed
i'd make them suck my dick
and rest my beer on their head

i wish that all the ladies
were nails in the wall
coz if i were a hammer
i'd have to bang them all

i wish that all the ladies
were buns on a shelf
coz if i was a baker
i'd cream them all myself

i wish that all the ladies
would quit their bitchin
and suck my dick
then get back in the kitchen

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
were hams in the oven
and I was a baster
I'd glaze them with my lovin

I wish that all the ladies
were whores in Mexico
and I was a Donkey
I'd fuck them in my show

I wish that all the ladies
were wee little lasses
and I was a leprechaun
I'd put my treasure in their asses

I wish that all the ladies
we itty bitty foxes
and I was the tall grass
I'd tickle all their boxes

I wish that all the ladies
were pretty little flowers
and I was a rain cloud
I'd give them golden showers

I wish that all the ladies
were bells on a tower
and I was the Hunchback
I'd bang them every hour

Anonymous said...

i wish that all the ladies
were kids in the park
and i was a pedo
i'd fuck 'em in the dark

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
were pictures on a wall
if I'm alone and horny
I'd jerk it to them all

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
Were actors on a stage
And I was the director
I'd work them till they came.

Anonymous said...

I wish all the ladies
Were all from bristol
And i had a basement
I'd be just like joseph fritzl!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
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And if I was a baker
I'd FUCK them up the arse!!

Anonymous said...

I wish that all the ladies
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