...And One More Thing

I found some humorous satire on my computer from a few years ago. As pathetic as this may sound; I read it and laughed out loud. It's quite unnatural to laugh at one's own jokes... it's akin to literary incest. It's late and I'm a little giddy. Anyway, here are some articles.

"Ayatollah Censors Dictionary"

Tehran- The planned release of a Persian-English dictionary by the Webster Company has once again been delayed by the nation's ultra-conservative Islamic regime. In a brief statement to the press the managing director of Webster announced, "It is unfortunate that the Iranian government continues to prohibit the release of our dictionary." Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Kahaha'arshi insists that "[the dictionary] will never be released into this country! It is a Zionist plot to cause a revolution in this country... lies all lies, this book is filled with them..."

In a 150 page report submitted to Webster, the Ayatollah's Department of Information compiled a series of demands and mandatory ammendments that must be made before the dictionary is to be released. These demands include, but are not limited to: removal of certain words deemed "dangerous to the Iranian psyche", revision of definitions found to "undermine the Iranian regime and/or promote the posionous Zionist cause" and the creation of new words currently not in existence. "We object to the insertion of the word 'freedom'. Freedom never has and never will have a place in this country. There is no need for this word."

Michael Moore's Latest Creation

Controversial film maker Michael Moore has today announced plans for a new documentary aimed at exposing the state of the nation's hospitals. The film, entitled "Hospitalise Me", due for release early next year will feature Moore becoming infected with several serious diseases and seeking medical assistance from the public hospital system.

To coincide with the development of the film, George Bush has announced a 95% cut in government funding to public hospitals. This further cut will likely cripple an already ailing health system. Furthermore, President Bush has secured himself and other high ranking executive Republican officials front row seats at the premier of the film, "I have suddenly become a fan of Mr. Moore's work. I look forward to his funeral, I mean, film."